Marriage - Let it not be a tragedy of errors!

I have often asked to friends and acquaintances, why do people marry? And have got responses that range from wild to weird to funny to serious! Below are some of the responses that I have got:

"...they are in love and wish to spend their life with that particular person."

"It is a part of life since the bible days"

"It legally entitles a man to sleep with a woman"

"Men get married for sex! Women get married so they can make money in the divorce"

Now reading the above reasons, I get worried! Except the first, none of the other reasons should be good enough to marry. Lets try to understand the origin of marriage.

If we look at history, the origin of domestic male-female relationships has been based on survival. The species could best survive if the male remained the hunter and the female stayed at home, raised the children and tended the crops, a purely economic arrangement. I of course talk from an era where relationships had begun and we were becoming a civilized society.

Later, the reason continued to be socio-economical - same clan, same caste, same status and some of these traits have continued in India and the rest of the world even today.

Then came the industrial revolution. People made money and started leading a comfortable life. Making a living was relatively easy. Hence, Love replaced obligation as a prelude to marriage. People were expected to fall in love and live happily ever after.

But the society was governed by Puritans. Sex before marriage was taboo, the only way you could have sex without feeling guilty was to get married. Marriage was and continues to be a ceremony of oaths performed before a deity and witnessed by the society with both parties promising to be monogamous for life.

All that has changed since the so-called sexual revolution and the woman's rights movement. Now, the trend preaches sex without guilt, and virginity is no longer esteemed. Today, couples living together sans marriage is quite common.

I have not dwelled on the types of marriages that are prevalent in India and across the globe. The focus here is why marry? The institution even today is a sacrament. The Indian society in particular continues to look down upon divorce, live-ins and to some extent love marriages. The rules of same caste, same status continues to cast shadow even in today's time. When a certain Prince Williams marries a Kate Middleton or Prince Charles married a commoner called Diana, it was against norms and thus became news! The same rules are applied by the Khap Panchayats of Haryana but their decisions are barbaric and illegal!

Whatever may be the reason to get married, many a times the arrangement does not work. Love and lust are confused with each other. Both women & men today make good money and hence financial security cannot be a reason to marry. Concept of live-ins are at least accepted in metros. And today's generation has a "care a damn" attitude towards society.

With all the reasons not to get married, is it still a wonder why millions choose to trade in their freedom for marriage? 

We can state the obvious reasons why Indian couples get married:

• Parental pressure
• Love for a person and wish to spend the life with them (Love marriage)
• Financial Security (India being one of the few countries where men & women both marry for this reason. Men for dowry, women for money/upkeep)
• Wanting to settle down (going the family way)
• Loneliness (For company)

I can only conclude this post by stating, a successful marriage depends on each partner satisfying the needs of the other and being compatible, however it varies from person to person.

Just ensure your marriage does not become a tragedy of errors! :-)