After taking a sabbatical from practice for over 3 years, I decided to write a blog! After publishing my first post, I got numerous emails from people asking me for advice and even counselled 7 couples. While most cases got resolved, one case sees an imminent divorce despite my team and me trying our best to make the couple reconcile!
It made me sad as the couple have barely been married for a few months!! And is my concern and inspiration for this post!!
While India continues to have one of the lowest divorce rate in the world (1.1% as per the last known statistics - http://www.edivorcepapers.com/divorce-statistics/divorce-statistics-in-india.html), the rate of divorce is zooming!! Take a while to ponder over this people:
- Statistics from the family court in Pune show that there has been a 45% rise in divorce by mutual consent in the past five years from 2005 to 2010
- Agro based states like Punjab and Haryana are now seeing an increase of 150% of divorce rate since the last decade.
- Kerala, known to be the most literate state has experienced an increase of divorce rate by 350% in the last 10 years.
- Bangalore, a very hi-tech city in India, experienced that the divorce rate tripled in 4 years.
- Delhi, the capital city of India, witnessed that the divorce rate doubled in five years.
Based on the above, will it be safe to say that divorce is normal and has come of age in India?
A nation where marriages have been regarded as a sacrament, the seeds of fast developing divorce trend have been sown and are deep rooted and sadly, difficult to unearth. This fast catching up trend in India is of great concern because if not addressed at the right time and right counselling and guidance is not provided with appropriate mechanisms then India will outnumber all other nations including USA in increasing divorce rate.
Have a look at this statement; I came across in an article by James P. Cunningham:
“For the first time in human history, divorce has replaced death as the most common endpoint of marriage.”
So the newest marital vow and it’s 21st century avatar is: “We will live together happily ever after… till divorce does us apart.”
What is more surprising is the fact that where are we as a nation of billion youth brigade heading towards????? Why are we aping the west in the culture that has ruined the lives of millions of people across globe? If divorce is good to the civilization at large then let all the married folks make their New Year resolution to seek divorce? Today’s super tech savvy "IPhone/IPad/smart phone generation" do not have the time, energy and patience required to mend a broken relationship. They do not want to sit and resolve their differences. All they want is an instant gratification of their highly pent up emotions.
The rate of reconciliation in India between couples filing for divorce under the mutual consent clause is as little as 3-4 per cent, In other divorce cases, it is 16-18 per cent!!
In those pressing times divorce seems easier for them then reconciliation and if it is as simpler and easier as touching their IPhones and IPads touch screens, then nothing like it!!! Reconciliation of a relationship that has scope of survival generally involves a little bit of compromise i.e. ego shedding to be more precise from both the parties.
"With women becoming economically independent, male dominance in a marriage has decreased. Economic independence of the wife is leading to ego clashes. Either or both parties feel mentally tortured and file for divorce," said Justice Arunava Barua of Calcutta High Court, an expert on gender justice. Justice Barua pointed out that another reason for divorce is the alarming rise in extramarital affairs, "We are actually getting a plethora of cases where love triangles are a basis for divorces." Gone are the times when marriages used to break because of bad mother-in-laws or father-in laws. In today’s time when couples hardly live with their parents then the question of they being the cause of divorce doesn’t arise. Surprisingly numerous studies reveal that the likelihood of divorce is lower among larger families and greater among smaller ones.
Today’s youth are confused and unsure of their likings or they are not serious enough to make their marriages work. For instance, a girl and boy meet and gradually like each other. Within some time they decide to get married but after tying the knot they realize that they are not compatible with each other so they seek divorce. Nobody thinks to make some adjustments in their lives and in arrange marriages no one waits to even fall in love they just want to seek divorce because the guy or the gal they got married to wasn’t compatible with them.
Any family law mediator or lawyer, who has dealt with a wide variety of couples over a number of years, knows that the divorce decision, howsoever primarily difficult, is in a number of circumstances a positive deed. Staying married under those pressing situations may reflect an inability to pursue what may be in the best interests of oneself, one’s partner, and even one’s children.
The awareness of the concept of living in a healthy and close knit family is the probable solution to lessen the increasing rate of divorce. Surveys and studies should be conducted to infer the exact reasons for breaking down marriages and families.
Even the government of India should try to take up necessary steps to curb the alarming increase in divorce rate and save marriages from breaking up. Like other nations even we need to ensure that the legal process should be less traumatic with proper counselling and guidance sessions on “life after divorce for the separated couples” in India.
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